Writing and School

I started working on Bennett Nelson, book two, yesterday. My goal (though I don't think I can manage it) is to write 1,000 words a day until school starts on August 30, 2010.

Well, today is day two and the word count is roughly over 2k.

I updated all of my word counts on my facebook today:

Current Word Count for my books (titles not set in stone)

Bennett Nelson (50,926)

Bleeding Royal (63,381)
Alice Reid (19,193)
Bennett Nelson Two (2,133)

Those numbers make me happy :)

Hmmmm.... I haven't blogged about my kitten yet, or have I?

I can't remember. Anyway, this is my kitten/cat, Charlie. She's so cute. I love her so much, even if she attacks me when I walk outside. She loves to chew on my ankles and arms, which hurts. I'm sure she's a vampire in disguise, because the other day, she bit me and made me bleed and had blood all over her mouth...

Gross, I know.

I just finished my online summer one class, Forms of Literature. I signed up for my new classes back in June. My schedule will look like this:

PE- M&W- 12:30 pm-1:50 pm

World Literature- T&TH- 8:00 am- 9:20 am

Math- T&TH- 9:30 am- 10:50 am

Creative Writing- Distance Learning (DL)

History II- DL

Art- DL

That's 16 hours. It was supposed to be 18 hours, but I couldn't take that many without a note from my counselor. I'll be taking two english classes again. Fun. Fun. Fun.

This will be my 4th semester of college. After this fall, I'll have one semester left before graduation. Then I can transfer to a university and pursue an english degree.

I better get back to writing if I want to keep my goal.

TTYL,

A. J. Spindle

Showing, Not Telling; Easier Than You Think

I received an email yesterday after querying to Wyvern Publications in the UK. This is a short version of what it said:

"Thank you for your submission to Pixiefoot Press. We loved your story but I felt it needed a little more description and feeling from Bennett. It has a good fantasy feel that we believe is just right for the 12+ market and if you were to edit it and resubmit we'd be very eager to read it again.

From reading the first three chapters, your pacing of events and characters are spot on and the only thing that needs brushing up is the overall narration. This sounds like something massive, but it needn't be at all. There is a lot of passive action; 'telling' instead of 'showing' and if you were to really get inside Bennett's head and let us see and feel what he does, it could bring the story to life.

Please remember that this is just one opinion and another publisher might snap your book up right away. Also, if you rework your book and find that our doors to submissions has shut, please send your work to us anyway as it does have much potential."

So if you're a writer, I'm sure you've heard about "showing" and not "telling" what's happening, am I right? Well it doesn't have to be that hard. If fact, it can be kind of fun. Yes, fun; as in "enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure." NO, I'm not brainwashed, I'm simply on a writing high. *grins*

As I go over my WIP#1, which is a middle grade novel, I find sentences such as:

"Bennett had thousands of questions racing through his mind."

And I change it into something like this:

"Bennett felt like there was a horse derby inside his head. Questions racing around the track of his mind, competing for attention, but his body had been through so much that it demanded rest from him."

Another example is when I said:

"The trip was always a long and boring one."

And I changed it to this:

Bennett stared out the window, hoping to find something interesting on the side of the road. Anything to relieve his boredom.

“Make sure you behave for your father,” his mother said after a long silence. “And remember to brush your hair and teeth.”

“Yeah, I know,” he mumbled back. Bennett spotted a chicken on the side of the road. For a second he thought it would try to cross in front of their car, but it didn’t. Bennett’s mother snapped and he looked away from the window.

“Are you listening?”

“Yes,” he said and then looked back out the glass; the chicken was gone. Now he’ll never know the age old question of why the chicken crossed the road.

“Your father will meet you when you get off the boat so look out for him and don’t stray too far from the dock.”

“I know,” he said, rolling his eyes. This is only my third trip, he thought, and it’s always the same. His mom would take him to the dock and make a big deal about her little baby going away without her. Then she would finally let him leave after a two minute ‘death hold’ hug.

The two hour ride seemed a little longer this time without the radio. It had been broken for about a month. Bennett twiddled his thumbs and stared out the window, trying to pass the time.

Instead of saying flat out that the trip was boring, I showed Bennett being bored.

So it's little things like showing and not telling that make the book come alive. When I write, I just write without over thinking it. Then I come back later and edit, move stuff around, rephrase, all that fun stuff.

Now I've got to get back to work.

That's all for now,

A. J. Spindle

60k Words!!

I updated my website today and worked on Bleeding Royal (what was previously called Vampire Prince). I also did a ton of homework, including two essays. I'm on a writing-high, lol. I just made that up. :)

I'm am absolutely thrilled to announce that I have hit the 60,000 word mark. This is the longest book I've written so far and I am ecstatic to say the least! I have been jumping all over the house today. I feel like a real writer. Like I actually have the chance to get this published. I sent out my first query the other day for BR (Bleeding Royal) and I haven't heard back, which may be a good thing, haha! I just wrote a twist in the plot and I'm adding it in now. I'm so excited I can hardly sit still for more than five minutes.

Check out all my hard work I put into my site today, it's completely new!

www.ajspindle.com

If anyone actually comments on this, I will love them forever!

Help!

I can't decide which way to write this book. I need your opinion. Which of these two samples sounds better?

People are standing all around me. Mr. and Mrs. Cole, Mr. Stark, Jackson, Dad, a few friends, but not Dan.

“Where’s Dan?” I ask. “Where’d he go?”

They all look at me but don’t say a word.

“Where is he? He was just here!” I don’t have the patience for silence. I want Dan. I want to know where he went.

“No, Al. He wasn’t. Dan’s...” Jackson looks at me strangely.

“Dan’s what?”

“Dan died. Remember? We went to his funeral earlier today,” he says.

“No, he didn’t really die! He was here! I saw him!”

Mrs. Cole breaks down into tears and then I remember. The funeral. The pew. The bike. The accident.

It feels like my lungs have collapsed and I can’t breathe. It’s like losing him all over again.

Or this one...

People were standing all around me. Mr. and Mrs. Cole, Mr. Stark, Jackson, Dad, a few friends, but not Dan.

“Where’s Dan?” I asked. “Where’d he go?”

They all looked at me but didn’t say a word.

“Where is he? He was just here!” I didn’t have the patience for silence. I wanted Dan. I wanted to know where he went.

“No, Al. He wasn’t. Dan’s...” Jackson looked at me strangely.

“Dan’s what?”

“Dan died. Remember? We went to his funeral earlier today,” he said.

“No, he didn’t really die! He was here! I saw him!”

Mrs. Cole broke out into tears and then I remembered. The funeral. The pew. The bike. The accident.

It felt like my lungs collapsed and I couldn’t breathe. It was like losing him all over again.

Song

I had my character sing a song. Therefore, I had to actually write the song. This is what I came up with.

Liam closed his eyes, plucking at the strings. His face twist into a look of pure concentration, like he forgot I was even in the room and it was just him and the music. Then he opened his mouth to sing. Notes fluctuated in the air and swelled around the room, filling every corner with the sweet sound.

“You are my love

My heart belongs to thee

Death shall not part us

Our bond will always be

Call on me, I’ll be there

I promise to never leave

You know this, I swear"

Thoughts??

Boring

My wrist hurts. That means it's going to rain sometime soon. It's done that since I broke it when I was 8.

ANYWAY...

My 19th birthday is in 6 days! (April 12th) I asked for a billion books. Hopefully I'll get a few of 'em.

I hit the 55k mark on my WIP #2 :D

Um.... nothing else interesting has happened lately. This is a lame blog. I'm sorry if your reading this. Maybe I'll blog again if something fun happens.

Until then,

A. J. Spindle

I've hit 50k words!

To celebrate reaching 50k words, I've uploaded another snippet for you. This is from the beginning of the book.

“I really have to be going now. My friends are waiting for me out in the front,” I don’t know why I didn’t trust her, something about her was unnerving. Was she the Moldovia? She was beautiful like Nicholai. What were my chances of screaming? Could he hear me if I tried. Of course he could, he has vamp hearing.

“Come with me,” she said more stern, she knew I was on to her. A weapon… I needed a weapon. What could be used as a weapon in a bathroom? The only thing close to me was a roll of toilet paper. It’s not like I could wrap her up in it like a mummy and expect that to hold her. No, I needed to think. Adrenaline was swiftly escaping into my veins and she saw the panicky look on my face.

“Are you going to come quietly?” A wicked smile surfaced on her face. I had to scream, Nicholai wouldn’t let them take me, not without a fight. I drew in a long quick breath, readying myself for the shriek, but the woman guessed my next move and stopped me. She wrapped herself around me covering my mouth with her hand. I tried to scream but it was muffled.

“Oh, we don’t need your little boyfriend to interrupt us. See, if your dead than he doesn’t have to keep watching over you. We’re doing him a favor,” she chuckled. I panicked. I struggled to get free but she was so physically powerful that I couldn’t. I opened my mouth under her hand and grabbed what small amount of flesh I could between my teeth. I bit down as hard as I could until I tasted blood. She shrieked in pain.

“Why you little maggot!” She released me, just the reaction I was hoping for. I took this opportunity to burst through the exit out into the store. Nicholai was standing with Chloe at the counter, paying for their goodies.

“Help!” I cried, throwing my hands in the air. I was running full speed toward Nicholai. He grabbed Chloe and thrust her behind his body for protection. I was almost to him when the woman grabbed my left arm.

“Let her go, Mandy,” he roared. His fiery eyes revealed his hatred. He looked very cold and enraged. He looked Malicious.

“Now why would I do that?” she sang, smiling viciously. It happened so fast the memory is just a blur to me. Nicholai had lunged at her throat. She jumped back just in time, releasing me. Mandy held out her hands like lethal claws and began slashing about the room missing Nicholai by inches every time. A big man walked in and sat staring at us. I tried to warn him with my eyes, tried to tell him to get out of here. Then he walked over and stood by Chloe and grabbed her arm, he was one of them. At this point I wasn’t thinking. My adrenaline was fueling my actions.

I dashed across the small open space to the man and kicked him in the shin. He let go of Chloe and grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me out the door. I looked at Chloe, her face full of tears and horror. Then I saw Nicholai behind her, crumpled on the floor, his right shoulder bleeding freely. This was it, I thought. There taking me away to kill me. The large man took me outside and threw me into a windowless van tying my hands together behind my back.

Snippet

Here's a random snippet of my third WIP because I'm bored. It's only got around 10k words so far.

Comments are welcome :)

I blocked out the sound of the preacher and the quiet sniffles from the crowd that had come to say goodbye. I focused on the carpet under my feet; blue, green and black lines, a pattern, twisting and turning around the room. Each strand holding up its partner, keeping every string in its place the way a partner should. It was as if the carpet mocked me. A voice whispered sweetly into my ear. You failed. You failed. You failed.

The voice was right.

A hot anger boiled in my stomach until it burst without warning, spreading over my chest, down my arms and legs. I found myself standing. I was angry with Dan for dying, angry with myself for not telling him to stay at the Academy, angry with the people crowding this room, pretending they knew him half as well as I did. I lashed out on the pew in front of me, kicking it and startling a bald man seated there. He jumped up and spun around. All eyes in the church flickered toward me.

Two large, heavy, hands grabbed my shoulders. I realized what I had done--made a fool of myself and disrespected the person who mattered most. Dan. In my embarrassment, I pushed past Mr. Stark, who had stood to restrain me, and ran for the exit doors. Tears ran like bullets from my eyes blurring the room. I heard my name being called from somewhere behind me, the voice unmistakable. My brother Jackson was running after me.

“Alice, wait!” he yelled, but I didn’t stop running. I couldn’t. I was on autopilot.

The Worst Day Ever

I found this old story I wrote from 2001, when I was 10. I wrote it after September 11th. I just found it today and I thought I'd share it with you. Here it goes.

(I did not change anything. This is exactly what the 10 year old me wrote so please excuse the appalling grammar mistakes)

The Worst Day Ever

By: Me

Arnold Fog is an average 12 year old boy. He loved to skateboard and swim in the summer, but more than anything he loved to do things with his dad. Sometimes he would spend the whole day playing catch in the back yard with his dad. Like other kids he had a younger sister and brother. His sisters name is Sarah Fog and his brothers name is Josh Fog. Sarah is 8 years old. She plays soccer. Josh plays basketball he is 7. Arnold has a best friend his name is Same he is also 12. Sam and Arnold would go to a baseball camp in the middle of summer. In the summers Sam always spent the night at Arnold's house on Saturdays. Arnold always spent the night at Sam's house on Fridays to escape the little kids in his house. Josh always wants to go to with him but he is to little and will get in the way.

Life as arnold knew it would not be the same for long. Little did he know that his parents were planning to tell him about a big change. There family is moving to New York! When he did find out he was sad that he had to move away from Sam but happy that he gets his own room instead of having to share it with Josh. This he thought to himself would be the best way to spend more time with his dad, but he was wrong. It just so happened that his dad was the reason that he is having to move you see their father had got a job in this cool building called the Twin Towers. His dad was so excited to hear the news of his promotion that he actually ignored his children when they begged and pleaded no tot go, but one week later there they were in the big New York. It wasn't so bad. It almost felt like home. This was in September of 2000.

About a year later the worst thing that could ever happen happened. The cool buildings called the Twin Towers blew up, two planes crashed into them. People were searching for their loved ones everywhere. When Arnold heard the news he began to cry. He knew somehow that his dad wouldn't be coming home from work like all the other daddy's again. His mom did the best that she could do to calm her children. Everyone around the world was confused and devastated that someone would do something like this. A lot of kids were orphans now. Arnold, Sarah, and Josh asked were their daddy had gone. Their mother calmed herself and steadily said that their daddy was in a beautiful place called Heaven.

They watched the news all day. They were shocked to see the list of peoples names that had been found dead. Firefighters had not found anyone resembling Robert Fog. As the children were thinking about what might happen next the phone rang and startled them. On the other end of the phone it was a man with the name of Dr. Goobert. He had bad news. As the children listened to their mother talk on the phone she began to cry. She told the kids that their daddy had been found. The children cheered. Then she continued to tell them that their dad is hurt badly. Then they were sad again. She grabbed the car keys, loaded the children in the car, and drove to the hospital where her husband was. When they arrived their mother took them to a white room that had one bed in it. In the bed was their daddy. As they walked closer they could tell that he was hooked up to many, many machines. They talked to him for a while but then something happened he began to stop breathing. Their mom ran and found a nurse that could help, but it was too late. Their daddy had just died.

She immediately took the kids home and explained what had happened as best she could. She told them that daddy will always be with them forever like an unseen guest. That we would be in their heart, and even though you cant see him he is watching over you. Arnold thought of all the children and families around the world that lost someone too. He wanted to do something but he felt that he would have no importance but he tried anyway. He made cards and handed them out to people. Sarah an Josh still didn't understand. When their mom was cleaning his briefcase she found a note. She read it out loud and this is what it said...

Dear Family,

September 11, 2001

I am about to go to work but I had to say something. I have been thinking what if something ever happens to me. I would miss you terribly. Please don't cry and be sad about me dying. I will be in a wonderful place. I will always be with you no matter where you are. I am going to be late to work so I have to go now bye.

I love you all so much, Daddy

Wow their mom was really amazed now she began to cry again she didn't know how she could ever live on but when she saw those little faces of her children she realized what she was there for. To raise 3 beautiful children. Life wasn't the same but they still played sports and went to school like normal kids of their ages. Things did get better. Its been 3 years since then and they are the wealthiest family ever. Not because of fortune but because they were still a family and they had each other. Arnold is 15, Sarah is 12, and Josh is 11 now and they are always spending time together playing catch in the back yard. Arnold treats his brother and sister like his father would have.

THE END

Great Contest!

http://reveriemedia.blogspot.com/2010/02/incarceron-by-cathrine-fisher-giveaway.html

Contest here! GO look! Books!!!

School

I just got back from giving my first speech for my speech class.

Four other students showed up besides me. That's right. Four.

My professor was trying to record us so that we could watch ourselves, but the camera or the disks weren't working so we spent a long time trying to fix them. My disk only recorded me walking away from the front of the room.

We had to decorate paper bags with pictures of our life. I should have taken a picture of mine, but I've already deconstructed it.

My teacher said I was an excellent writer this week and that made my day. :)
Sometimes when I write stuff, I think it's horrible. Then when someone tells me it's good I feel like it's awesome. I can't explain why I always think my writing stinks, I just do.

Here's a collage I did for art:


I had to write a paper about the elements and principles of design and make this collage. I had to scan it into my computer because I'm taking art online. Yes, I mean online. It's awesome.

I know this is a lame blog, but it's all I have time for.

Awards

I got these awards from LJ Boldyrev



Rules:State 10 things that make me happy. Pass the award along.
Ten things that make me happy:

Talking to my friends on AIM (lol)
Having inside jokes that nobody but me and the other person could possibly understand
Finding out that class has been cancelled
Sleeping late
Writing
Reading
Listening to music
Bunnies
Finishing another chapter for my book
Making youtube videos

Blogs I am giving the Happiness Award to:

Carrie: http://hrhqueenanne.blogspot.com/



Rules: List ten honest things about myself and pass it along.
Ten honest things about me:

I should be doing my homework right now but I'm not
I really like lime green
I live on coffee and monsters
I'm still waiting for my acceptance letter to Hogwarts. My owl just got lost in the mail.
I'm really shy
I have a fear of heights
I love stuffed animals, like seriously
I feel like a kid in a candy store when I walk in Barnes and Noble
I miss high school
I want to be a kid again

Blogs I am giving the Honest Award to:

Jennifer: http://jennifer-daiker.blogspot.com/

Back to School

So, classes started back this week. And BOY, what a week it's been!

Let me tell you something about my college, finding a parking spot at 9 o'clock in the morning is like trying to find a needle in a haystack... a haystack that's a mile high. Every time you think you've found a spot, you see some tiny car that pulled all the way up, making you think the spot was empty and therefore getting your hopes up only to crush them like a bug.

I had to park on the opposite side of campus on the first day and got lost in all the identical brown buildings.




Don't worry though, I managed to slip into class at the last minute only to find that the classroom was packed. I'm talking EVERY desk filled. We have 45 students in that class!! IN A TINY ROOM.

So my first class is US Government, and I'll tell you right now. I. Hate. Government. With. A. Passion.
Now, I'll vote and do my job as a citizen, but there is nothing more boring than learning about all the branches and their powers, especially because we've covered this curriculum at least 1,000 times over my 12 years in the public education system.

The teacher started the class off with a quiz. But not an ordinary quiz, no. The questions were:

What's your name?
If you were a super hero, who would you be?
If you were a super villain, who would you be?
If you could be invisible or fly, which would you pick?

and that's it.
I know, right? What kind of a quiz is that? But hey, it's a free 100 so I took it :P

Then my professor (by the way, I still don't know her name) started teaching class. ATTENTION HIGH SCHOOL READERS!! In high school, the first day is always a blow off day where you can talk to your friends and catch up on what you did during break. In college, it's no nonsense. You go to class, you learn, and then you spit back everything on the final to prove you were at least conscious for the past 16 weeks. But don't let that scare you, college is fun in some areas, you pick your classes and what time you want to go, what teacher you want, what friends you want to take a class with, it's freedom at last, but you have to study and actually learn the material. You can't just "scrape by" like in high school.

After Government, my friend and I headed off to Biology (for non majors). I had never been to the science building, having not taken a science course here before, so she led the way. Let me tell you, that building looks just like a museum. They have glass cases with different rocks and bones, and the creepiest were the skulls of humans and animals.

The classroom is really cool, it's just like the lecture hall we had in high school. There are long narrow tables with swinging/spinning chairs (which are fun to spin on) and each table is on a different step, that way everyone can see over everyone's head. Well, my friend and I sat on the 2nd row by the door (easier to escape to take a phone call, sneak out, etc...). When we were waiting for the professor to show up, my friend Andria walked in. Now, in 9th grade, Andria, Andrea, and I were all in the same class. So this was very exciting for us to have "accidently" picked the same class again. So we sat together and it was just like the good old days :)


Then on Wednesday, Lab was cancelled so I got to sleep in, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Now on Thursday, I had Government and Biology again, but that night I had to go to orientation for my speech class that I'm taking online (along with art)

There were around 200 people there and they made us all sit together. I was shoulder to shoulder with some random girl I had never met. Talk about awkward...

Anyway, we had to get up and introduce ourselves, so naturally when it was my turn, I walked up to the front of the room and the very first words that left my lips were
"wow, it's a lot more scary from up here"
For real. Then I blushed and my professor just laughed.

Then I got to go home and talk to my BFF (whose birthday is tomorrow so go leave her a birthday comment on Twitter)

And now it's Friday and I have a day off! I start back to work this Sunday so I'm super excited about that! I need money really bad right now. College is like a vampire. It's sucks you dry of money.
My books have cost me about $600 for this semester alone!
BE SMART AND SAVE YOUR MONEY NOW KIDS!

l get to babysit tomorrow for an adorable 4 year old. I shall be armed with coloring books, books, toys, and games.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LACEY!!

By the way, if you picked invisible on the last question, it's because your insecure, if you picked flying, it means your outgoing.

Thanks for reading,
AJ Spindle

Bored

I'm so bored. So. So. So. SO. SOOOOOO bored.

I cleaned the house today so now I'm exhausted.

That's all I can type for now.

ttyl people of the world

I want this book shelf!

http://www.csnstores.com/4D-Concepts-99100-FDC1075.html

and I want these 4 books:

Beautiful Creatures

Graceling

Cracked Up To Be

Wondrous Strange

Incase I win that contest. :)